Isla Aukate
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Phil Daniels (awaiting review)
Name: Phil Daniels

Island of birth: Peeperuare (February Island)

Age: 30
Preferred occupation: Scout or Courier

Species: Dog/Grey Wolf Hybrid (Cardigan Welsh Corgi appearance with Wolf-like build and marking traits)

Eye color: Brown with light blue specks

Fur color: Black and White with silver 'blazes'

Height (in feet and inches): 5' 9"

Personality: Phil is a resoundingly calm individual which is most usual given his mixed heritage, He does have a aggressive side that rarely comes to the surface due in most part to extensive anger control techniques and frequent meditation.

Phil also has a persistent personality when it comes to arguments, he can sometimes miss a point because he becomes so focused on a particular subject, while he doesn't have a problem with authority figures he does have problems with following orders he believes may lead to the extreme harm of others.

He tends a bit of a wisecrack, a trait he inherited from his father unfortunately, Phil from time-to-time tends to speak his mind during conversations, leading to many awkward situations, and the occasional sarcastic joke during serious moments.

Phil may at times seems to not care about other people's affairs, he actually has a heart of gold, and is very sympathetic to other people's suffering.

Brief character description: Phil is a black and white Cardigan Welsh Corgi/Grey Wolf with silverish blaze-like markings on the cheeks of his face, he also has a white muzzle with a stripe going up between the eyes that stops short of his forehead and has a black nose, and his hair which is white is kept short but a bit shaggy

Black dominates the majority of his coat, his back has silver blaze-like pattern that extends from his shoulders to his lower back just above the belt line, another exception is his hands and feet which both have white coloration stopping just short of his elbows and knees, his tail is black as well with a slight silver tip, his pads are black,  Phil's psychical build is remarkably similar to a wolf's minus a little height he has a build more akeen a track and field athlete then a bodybuilder.

Phil exhibits several unique traits that many people will not known of him by first meeting.

- He has 'affinity' towards both men and women.  Wink

- Phil is the shortest in his family at 5' 9", his father is 5'11", his mother is 6'4".

- He is ambidextrous

- He wears a necklace which has golf ball-sized Amazonite stone, its a memento of his courage.

- Learned to track, hunt, and trap from his mother, while he learned self-defense from his father, learned to run by himself.

- Very talented singer, doesn't sing publicly though he has stage fright.

- Can be found resting in awkward positions that would cause most extreme discomfort (inherited from his Corgi side)

- Favorite sport is Hurdles in Track and Field

- Favorite hobbies are Free-climbing and Free-running, he used it to get over his Acrophobia.

Character background/history: 
[Rewrite complete]

Phil was born on Peeperuare (February Island) in the Winter of 1986 from Marcus and Sheryl Daniels, Phil lived a relevantly normal life despite his mixed heritage.

Phil was raised by his mother the majority of his life, while his father trained recruits for the purpose of joining the future ranks of the minions for the Lair, despite his father being away days at a time Phil had no issues with the way he was raised all things considered.

When Phil was 12 he was taught the basics of scouting from his mother, a skill he has almost perfected to this day and only a year later was taught by his father who was former combat instructor in hand-to-hand and melee combat.

At the age of 20 Phil would use his tracking skills to great affect to help locate a missing young girl who had wandered away from a village, with a severe storm approaching Phil rather then return with the other searchers to search for the child later as instructed by elders of the village he chose to continue the search alone, the storm would last into the night as Phil continued his search despite the harsh weather.

He would locate the child early the next morning she had wondered three miles from her village, she had taken shelter in a cave to wait for help, Phil would return to the village with the girl about a hour later he was severely fatigued and sick with a cold, Phil would later receive a gift from the child he saved a necklace with a amazonite stone, which he still wears to this date.

Now 30 and a lot wiser Phil wants to donate his tracking abilities to the service of the Overlord, He hopes that his journey to Aukate will be of great service, and hopes that his skills in tracking may help many others, and if he couldn't help with scouting he figure he use his running skills to become a courier.

Edit Notice: 9-3 to Present cataloging a little more detail history, personality traits, psychical description, little edits to several spots, and name change.
Done and awaiting critiquing.
One thing I am going to clarify before I go further. If you work in R&D you will be expected to work on group projects. Not by yourself. So your character needs to be a team player. Especially when you’re first starting out. Don’t do the equivalent of choosing underwater basket weaving over engineering. Going into a field where you are actually going to be useful/helpful to the inherent goals of R&D is going to get you much further. Remember that the lair is investing in your character and expects a return on that investment. How do you plan to return that investment?

With the idiopathic neuropathy he would probably get automatically disqualified from a lot of R&D simply because a sense of pain can save lives in there, so if he burns himself, bleeds into an experiment, or generally injured himself without knowing it due to the work he is actually more of a liability than anything else. You might want to consider removing this.

As for archeology, the lair and the minions need to focus on projects that benefit society in the present and future (not to mention that since the islands are all an artificial creation of a mad mage, there isn't really that much in the way of archeological sites compared to the rest of the world). Fox probably does fund certain ventures into dig sites and things like that, but none of them are located in the lair proper. So an archeologist would not find much work in the lair. As such you would be largely RPing by yourself, which is not the point of a public group RP.

Regarding your backstory, it just seems like a big hot mess of tragedy. Mother dead, girlfriend dead, insane rival incarcerated, blind daughter to take care of. It honestly sounds like this is a character you have your own stories written up for and shoehorned into the ‘Aukate’ universe.

I don’t see a lot of regard in place for the world itself. Barely any mention of anything related to it, and no questions/requests for help in developing how your character would fit in this story. We have stated in our character guides we don’t want to see orphans, It’s a very over-used trope. Your character still counts as such.

There’s nothing here that explains why he wants to join the minions. What he wants to do for Fox and the lair. How is he going to take care of a handicapped child while he’s away for weeks? You can get child care at the lair but not instantly and not in the week you spend in boot camp and the few weeks in the lair getting orientation. Having a character with a child is difficult enough, especially as a single parent, having one that’s handicapped is going a little far. We had a character that had an NPC attached to them once before and it ended up being troublesome.
Not going to lie its been a few years since I last seriously RP, Yeah I'll work out some more of the kinks.

I'll be fixing some of this as soon as I possibly can.
Thank you for understanding, I did my best to give an honest critique without being harsh but it's a little difficult to be honest and not sound a little abrasive. I appreciate your effort and you have quite a bit of time. I won't be re-opening boot camp for new recruits awhile.
Sup rewrite done
(09-12-2016, 01:45 AM)PhiltheCorgi Wrote: Sup rewrite done

Deleting your old comments and posting new ones to refresh the thread won't get you replied to any faster. It makes us associate you with someone who will nag us when they don't get instant attention. Poking us repeatedly will just make us take our sweet time because we don't feel like rewarding someone for being annoying.

So chill. We know you did a rewrite. We'll get to it when we have time to get to it.
Sorry my bad I'll be more patient.

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