Isla Aukate
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Prima Fauna
#1
Name: Prima Fauna
Island of birth: Tiaanuare
Age: 23
Preferred occupation: Food Forager/Gatherer
Species: Western Dhole
Eye color: Deep Green
Hair color: Dark Grey/Black
Height (in feet and inches): 5 ft 3 in

Brief character description: Prima Fauna is a moderately sized, facultative biped, green eyed dhole with a little more to love. Her alloy orange fur is untamed and rough at first sight, but getting past her feral appearance is a soft, plushie, off white undercoat that matches the fur on her underbelly, neck, and extends down to the insides of her paws. Her large, floofy tail matches her overall orange colour with the exception of the tip which looks like it was dipped in dark grey/black paint, matching her hair. Her eyes are large, face and ears are rounded, and sharp top canines are peeking out of her muzzle. Most times she will be seen with her right ear drooping forward or folded backwards after a quick roll in the grass. And other times, after working, her muzzle will be heavily stained with red and purples after munching on berries. While she spends most of her time standing on her two hind paws, she can run and walk on all fours, if she so pleases.

Character background/history:
 
Born into an obnoxious family, who loved to gossip and listen to rumors spread by her small little town, Prima Fauna grew to dislike the loud, nosy folk she was surrounded by on the island of Tiaanuare. She was very different from them in that her ideas and level of acceptance was something that her relatives often negatively criticized. So much so that Prima often would disappear for most of the day to play in remote wooded areas and play pretend with her woodland family. While most of them ran away from her, because they weren't expecting a talking dhole to come barreling into the quiet forest. Still, she'd had frogs, salamanders, newts, and lizards to talk with if she could catch them. Dreaming of a different scene, where she could find acceptance and peace, Prima spent most of her time thinking of the perfect world.

After leaving Tiaanuare, to leave her family and community, she'd moved to Me where she would find work pushing back blackberries and clearing up the paths that were being blocked by the thorny bushes. And, to be honest, she loved the job! Free snacks whenever she pleased. However, when working even in a job she loves, she can sometimes get distracted and wander off to explore or take a snooze in a patch of grass under a shady tree. Though when she realises her train of thought and process has been derailed she will quickly try to return to her place of work and resume pinning back the ever invasive blackberry. (And enjoying a delicious snack in the process.)

One day, as she was seated on a log on a knoll munching away at her daily labor's harvest, Prima noted a boat of sorts coming into harbor. Her ears perked up, as it wasn't too uncommon for ships to be docking at an island, but she'd grown bored and had an urge to explore. With her berry bag to her side, the fluffy dhole bound away down the knoll to check out the docks. She hadn't ever really been down that way before so it seemed like the logical decision for her at that point. Upon arrival Prima saw that the ship was loading crates upon crates of vegetation and other exports. She'd blink, tilting her head to the side to read the boxes, and moved every which way to see what was being taken. She'd even seen a few boxes labeled, "Blackberries" and found, after some investigative work, that they were shipped to a place called Aukate. So that is what they did with the extras!

As she stood on the docks, the fluffy dhole hugged her tail and watched as it left out into the sea. She now had a new and exciting adventure to look forward too. Visiting Aukate and maybe even working for this so-called Overlord. As soon as that ship docked for another shipment, Prima would be there and prepared to board and head off to a new land, even if it meant she'd have to work with the crew to earn her passage.





Edit 1: Changed the vague "Nuts and berries" to specifically foraging for blackberries
Edit 2: Added more to her motive to wanting to go to the island, thanks to Jordan.
Edit 3: -places gold stars on nose- = u =
Edit 4: Changed birth island, she moved to Me, how she found out about Aukate/Overlord, Gave her motivation and transportation (I think?)
Edit 5: I did the worst thing. I forgot to point out that she has dual snaggle tooth. DUAL SNAGGLE TOOTH... And I didn't point that out... Shame on me.. ; ~ ; FORGIVE ME PRIMA... Actually, she doesn't care, but... whatever...
Edit 6: I shortened it, but oml I can't figure out how to make it any shorter. D,:
Reply
#2
Selki,

Firstly, this is a well written background with very little of the Mary Sue flags we usually see.  She is not an orphan (beyond being a self-imposed one), she is not over average height or has any mysterious elements in her background.  She’s just a happy fluffy pup who likes to play in the forest and roll around in the grass.

My only issue is that there’s nothing here that says ‘Aukate’.  This profile could go on any roleplay site.  Aukate is Hawaiian based, what kind of nuts and berries would she forage in Hawaii?  If she’s from another island, what would she forage from there?  What island is she from?  Why would she join the Overlord?  How did she hear about the Overlord and the lair?

This is good, but it needs to be tweaked to fit Aukate a bit better.

If it helps, here is the post that goes into the different islands:  https://forum.overlordcomic.com/showthread.php?tid=1043  I wouldn’t recommend being from June as it is mostly populated by Dinosaurs, July as it is a harsh desert with mostly mythical animals, or December as it is a cold tundra that mostly hosts jails and asylums and luddites.

I am happy to answer any questions you might have to help.  I do like the character, we just need to adjust things a little to fit the world better.
Reply
#3
Ohhh~ Thank you! I will work on fixing it! I am currently reading through all of the comics, sketch and coloured, to get a better sense of it all! I was afraid the profile might not tie in well, so I would be open to help and suggestions on how to do so!

As far as berries and nuts, I am currently researching the flora native to Hawaii or other islands surrounding it.

As for how she'd hear about the overlord and lair, I... I don't know. I am typically very good at coming up with profiles, but with this one being so close to myself and my own background, I am stuck. But I really, really want to make her acceptable so I can become a part of this world through Prima. So, again, any help or suggestions would be gratefully accepted.

On a side note, I was thinking perhaps Me would be a good fit for Prima, considering she loves scavenging for food. (And because Fish is her mainstay food source, that is a plus.)

Hmm... On second thought... Perhaps rather than scavenging, she could gathers Blackberries, as I read that they are an invasive, non-native species of Hawaii and often need to be controlled. Though, I don't know if that would be too... Godmoddish or... rude to assume that there would be blackberries and that they'd also be invasive on the Islands.
Reply
#4
O_O

Firstly it's okay, it's a lot of content to absorb. It's okay to not know the world like the back of your hand. Owning that instead of assuming things and asking for help is what I've wanted from the start.

[Image: TwltbqL.png]

I don't mind her pinning back the blackberries. I think that's a rather cute, and simple little profession. And given Darius' addiction to all things tea, they'd find their way into his morning cup one way or another, especially if Fox had a surplus.

Secondly. OMG YOU DID RESEARCH. If I had gold star stickers I'd put another one on your nose. Thank you.

You don't understand how much appreciate your understanding, reasonableness, and willingness to learn/get help.

Basically we're here to help. And if you're asking for help with how to find a niche for your character, we can toss Ideas out there.
Reply
#5
Nya~ Gold stars! 8D -purrrrrrrrr-

I am a happy dhole now. = u =

I think the biggest thing I would need help with is how she'd have found out about the island and Overlord. I know it is a deep secret and isn't advertised by way of Superbowl Ads so.... uh....

Anyways, if she was from another island, I don't know what Island. As I know that natives, like said in the setting, are all... quadr... uh... four legged critters. Prima is upright standing, I think. So she wouldn't be able to be native. And even if she was, I'd not know what kind of family she'd have that existed on the island. (Though if I can ever afford a quad suit she will most definitely be uh... quadripe...dal.. or... uh.. that word.)
Reply
#6
If I may chime in

One thing I would consider when looking at the islands to choose for your character. I s perhaps pick an island that would shape your character in a specific way, or play a part in their history somehow. When I made my character Amos, I made the fact that he was from an industrial (that may not be the correct word?) island (Maati) a part of his history. The people, the setting and his family upon it affected how he grew as a young man, and was what set him on his path to leaving it in the first place.

I hope this advice is helpful.
"What would you do for a better world?"
Reply
#7
I agree. I was looking through the islands and figured that maybe, if she was born on the islands, her relatives seem like they'd be from either Tiaanuare or Peeperuare, but Prima would be more suited for Me, considering how fertile it is and how she prefers gathering foods. But, I feel as if she wasn't native from the Islands and so.... I haven't any idea how she might've gotten word of the islands. I mean, if it weren't islands then it could be very possible that she stumbled upon them, considering she is a wanderer.

Though, I got an idea. I know that ships rarely visit Aukate, but what if she had somehow found one of these shipping vessels and found a crate of something that maybe.. fell or was dropped. Or forgotten... and she just kinda.. picked it up and went aboard wanting to give it back to them only to become a stowaway and maybe this is how she found out about the islands? o.e That may be too.... eh... forward or... words....

Thanks to all your help. I have some new things to change/add to her bio and so... hopefully it will be a step or two closer to becoming more "Aukate" suitable! <3
Reply
#8
Well, let us say that happened. Your character took to cargo (or whatever it is) back to the ship captain. If in conversation, your character found out about Aukate, and the Captain began to tell them about it, what exactly about Aukate would inspire your character to want to go there?
"What would you do for a better world?"
Reply
#9
Change. Change and desire to see something aside from what she grew up around. The hope for a new life in acceptance and maybe a new start somewhere she could possibly be of use. Or at least where she could be among folk who weren't so different from her.

And adventure. She is a wanderer so... hearing about a new place she'd never heard of before would intrigue her beyond anything else, I think. So those qualities and ideas would be what drove her to want to go to Aukate.

Just.... o u o the whole cargo ship thing going to Aukate or... wherever. If that would even be possible or... acceptable for a character profile/background/intro/thing. ; u ;

Thank you, Jordan! <3
Reply
#10
Anytime ^^

and of course, if you ever require assistance I am just a mouse click away.

I have one more idea, though it would affect your characters motivations so I don't want to suggest it unless you are okay with it.
"What would you do for a better world?"
Reply




Users browsing this thread: 3 Guest(s)